he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
