Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
