Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
