Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
