The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
