Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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