I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just gift wrapped bread.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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