Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
