I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
