and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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