I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
