Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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