Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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