I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
