he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Randomize
