K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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