Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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