Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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