I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
