just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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