smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
