I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
