I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize