i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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