That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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