Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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