I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
