So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
