i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
