Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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