hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
