Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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