discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
