Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality

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(908): View more from New Jersey

my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.

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(+81): View more from

Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.

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(281): View more from Texas

i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.

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(407): View more from Florida

He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.

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(317): View more from Indiana

1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you

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