I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
