we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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