i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
