Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
