Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize