Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
