You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
