I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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