Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
