i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
