Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
