i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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