I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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