ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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