I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
