Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
