my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
