Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
