You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
