This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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