He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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