Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
