That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
