I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
