is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize