Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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