You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
