I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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