Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
